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kids knock knock jokes | eBay
Read our privacy policy. You look a little ill. I think you need some vitamin "me". I'm not a foot fetishist, but I am looking for a sole mate. Have you tried that out? Knock knock Who's there? Orange you glad you're so attractive, cute, whatever. There are two muffins in the oven. The first muffin says "Wow, it sure is hot in here! The second muffin says "EEK! One of my profs tells that every year and some of my classmates get very angry when they hear it.
Two dolphins walk into a bar. The first whale says open your mouth and do loud dolphin noises for as long as you can manage. Then the other dolphin turns to him and says "Shut up David, you're too drunk to talk. Might have to modify it a bit for the kids, though.
Maybe they walk into a restaurant and the other dolphin says "David, how many times have I told you to swallow your food before you talk? The whale must have already been in the bar drinking before the dolphins showed up If they say "R" reply in a pirate's voice "You may think it be R but me first love is the C. Well the pirate alphabet is pretty weird to start. There are only 10 letters. It's I,I,R, and the seven C's. I love it when the same joke has multiple generations of punchlines, never heard that one before.
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Other favorite pirate joke: What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Edited "day" to "say. Two old men were sitting on a ledge. One said to the other "hey, look, there's a flock of elephants over there. If by clean you meant not scatological then sorry, but kids love this one, its a humdinger. I can't claim it as my own, I stole it off another redditor in a thread from ages ago.
I heard this one as "Well, if they were any shorter, they wouldn't reach their heads! So the ghettos were created, and nowdays it is a term for low income areas where we herd our oppressed minorities. Jenny, why are you crying?
That's interesting, something you'd never ever actually know or need to know. And, my personal favorite, which somehow made me laugh endlessly: There was no punchline. She just walked away. Jock is pronounced "Joke" in Scotland. And a coal man is somebody who delivers coal for your coal fire heating, which most houses had until the late nineties You know what, there's too much involved in this.
Yeah but then they probably speak Swiss German or something and who knows if "a big plus" is even a legit expression in that language. A man is in jail. For years, he tries to dig himself out of his cell using only a spoon. He digs out a tunnel little by little every day for 10 years. Finally, one day he breaks through the ground at a children's' park.
A little kid walks up to him and says "big deal, I'm four. When the Titanic sank it was a horrible tragedy for the people on board but for the lobsters in the kitchen it was a miracle. This one is a bit of a long con. Tell it at the beginning of your time with the kids:. Two construction workers are working on the job site. The first one throws a brick 5 feet in the air. The second worker, not to be outdone, throws a brick 10 feet in the air.
The first guy doesn't want to be outdone, so he throws a brick 20 fee in the air.
So the second guy throws a brick 50 fee in the air. Then the first guy throws a brick feet in the air. Then the 2nd guy throws a brick so high up in the air that it doesn't come down. This is when your plant should start laughing. Everyone will be confused but their laughter gives you a segue into something else without being too obvious.
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As you're closing out your time with the kids, tell this as your final joke: A man and a woman are flying cross country on a plane. The woman has an annoying poodle sitting in her lap who will not be quiet. The dog keeps yapping loudly and bothering the man. The man, however, is smoking a stinky cigar. He's blowing the smoke everywhere and it's really bothering the woman. They strike up a conversation and soon realize that their dog and cigar are bothering the other, so they decide to throw them both out of the airplane and that's what they do!
They both enjoy the rest of the flight without the annoying dog or the annoying cigar smoke. When they land at the airport, to their surprise, they see the poodle walking across the tarmac and you'll never guess what it has in it's mouth. Let the kids guess, everyone will say the cigar, but you answer with, "Nope, the brick. Orange you glad I didn't say banana? When I was little I didn't understand the wordplay, so I thought you could replace the fruits with anything, as long as it was still a fruit.
So I'd be like Knock knock, who's there, blueberry. Knock knock, who's there, blueberry. Knock knock, who's there, watermelon, watermelon who, watermelon you glad I didn't say blueberry? In some places, the word "aren't" is two syllables, like "ar-unt", and in some places, it's just one syllable, like "arnt". In some places, the word "orange" starts with the vowel from "oar", and in other places, it's more like the vowel from "sock" or the vowel from "are". I grew up with the one-syllable "arnt" and also with orange starting with an "oar" sound, so "orange you" really doesn't sound much like "aren't you" to me.
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Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. Log in or sign up in seconds. Filter posts by subject: Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers. Welcome to Reddit, the front page of the internet. Become a Redditor and subscribe to one of thousands of communities. Want to add to the discussion? Hey are you on the boat? I'm not on a boat! Naomi's boat, 90 miles off shore! No I'm not on a boat!! Charlie quickly closes the door so Desmond doesn't drown Desmond: I eat mop I eat mop who? Well wash your hands. Knock, Knock Who's there?
And this continues until bedtime. Ooooh, I eat my poo Now I get it. And then just wait for them to get it. I don't get it. Is yahoo a thing people say while lassoing? I've got a really great knock knock joke but you have to start it. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? I learned it when I was about seven and it is still by far my favourite.
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It was rated Rrrr. Do you know why it was rated R? Because it had lots of booty in it. Why are pirates called pirates? Pete and Repeat are on a boat Repeat Pete and Repeat are on a boat I think it's the second guy, the second guy is definitely still on the boat. What's his name again? Maybe you should tell me?
Arden died, who was left?