If you want a happy marriage, you cannot get it by feeling jealous of the achievements of your partner. Or your deliberately hurt your partner to take revenge for something they did unconsciously. Be aware of your emotions, detect and deal with negativity ASAP or it will eat your relationship from the inside.
If you are not able to have fun with yourself, you will always depend on friends or your partner to deliver good times. What if they are busy though? Will you just sit around on the verge of boredom and passive aggression? Encourage your partner to do the same. I have some meetings at work but will try to get out before 6: Can you join us when you are done?
In short, if you ever want to take a break, you need to schedule it. And if you ever want to be as spontaneous as you were in the beginning of your relationship, you need to schedule it. So why is being spontaneous together important? I know we already mentioned that in a previous tip, but it is so important that it deserves an encore. Listen to what your spouse is saying or not saying and hear it. Try to understand it.
I put listening and hearing before sharing for a reason, but sharing is also crucial for a marriage to work. If none of you talks, no one will have the opportunity to listen. If this is your partner, the best way to lead is by example. If you have been together for a while, you should. It is also simple to do. Just start paying attention and start now.
In your marriage there will be times when people will fight both or one of you on your decisions. Another situation where this is useful is while you are raising your kids. When it comes to their upbringing, avoid fighting in front of them. Instead, discuss parental approach alone and support each other fully at all other times. When the going gets tough, even the toughest can use a little help. Actions speak louder than words and no act is greater than helping someone get where they want to be.
Different levels or areas of growth is one of the top reasons couples fail at keeping a happy relationship. In order to grow together, you must be able to learn from each other, and support each other in conquering your fears. If only one of you develops as a person and the other one does not, problems quickly escalate. At the same time though at home, with a man, a woman also feels the need to be taken care of.
The best way to reinforce a behavior you want is by example and appreciation.
Similar advice holds good for a man also. To love someone really means to accept them for all they are. Unrealistic expectations set in because we are different than who we truly are in the beginning of a relationship.
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Guys will be a bit more romantic and girls will constantly look amazing. After you are married though attraction gives way to comfort—the ability to be ourselves with someone. And if you expect him to bring you flowers and give you compliments as much as he used to, you may be disappointed. I am not saying you should call them mom and dad, I am not even saying you should like them, but respect is the one thing you owe them for having brought up the person you love. Not to mention that anyone would be hurt if you offend their mother or father, so is that really what you want to do?
For me, this is a universal rule applicable in every situation. Yet I have both experienced and witnessed how easy it is to forget it in your work and personal life. If you want happiness from your spouse, give happiness first.
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Remember what they say: But marriage is not a competition. We all value different emotions and get them in a different way. You may think you are better for having a stable job and raising your kids in the suburbs and your friends may think they are better because they move all the time and are exploring the world. No good can come of it. We talked about working on keeping the passion and having fun. Though sex is part of those things, it is also an important-enough chunk of a marriage to be mentioned separately.
The physical part of it is important, sure, but even more important is the fact that sex is the most intimate experience to share with someone and not sharing it would drastically impact your intimacy. And something has to be done about that. The truth is they will change! Being married is a whole new chapter of life and it requires leaving some habits behind and adopting new ones.
If you feel some of your needs have changed and your partner can not meet them, try to talk to them about these specifically, instead of putting him down as a person. Kathy Caprino , an amazing career coach who has also worked as a marriage and family therapist and is happily married herself, puts that in her Top 3 happy marriage tips. Disagreements over big or small decisions will happen in marriage and if you chose to hold grudge, you are hurting your closeness more than you know. Make sure you find a way to communicate about your differences without cruelty, being demeaning, stonewalling or shutting the other person out.
We all play many roles in life. We are employees, marriage partners, siblings, children, and friends and one day, if we are very lucky, we become parents. Your friends still need you and so does your spouse. So, whether it is a grandmother living close by or a nanny, get some help and make time for your marriage. Making plans for your future together is one of the first signs that a relationship is moving forward.
Always make plans together, big or small:. There is always something to look forward to in life and if you look forward to it together, your relationship will be evergreen.
You can measure the happiness of a marriage by the number of scars that each partner carries on their tongues, earned from years of biting back angry words. Generally speaking, time helps a marriage. You get to know each other better and better, you accept each other and ideally your closeness and intimacy builds up.
But during that time there will be disagreements like we already said a few times and if you choose to remember each one and bring it up again and again, you will never move past your issues. Our day-to-day tips are exactly these steps. They will make sure you are well on your way to your golden wedding anniversary. Hugging and kissing my husband when he comes back from work or when I come back is an absolute must in our home.
If you touch each other while communicating, it will be easier to get what you are saying across. The touch itself holds a message: The three golden words. First, we are afraid to say it. This process is normal. Better to say it often than to never say it. Laughing for 30 seconds makes you happy for 3 hours—Chemistry!
You know your partner well enough to be able to make them laugh at least once a day.
The BEST marriage advice we’ve ever heard | Dave Willis
And if nothing else works, tickle them. What better way to love someone? Learn to say thank you. When you are unhappy with something, do not keep it bottled up inside, but also do not burst into tears or screams. Think about the best way to handle the situation and speak up in a positive way. My husband had done something rather irritating. And my daughter was watching it all from across the room.
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Rather than reacting, I laughed and planted a big, juicy one on his lips. Take timing into consideration. Make your bedroom a beautiful place. I like turning our room into a lovely oasis for us both. Somewhere special that he wants to be with me. Pick and choose the issues you care about. Decide not to jump on every possible offense. For instance, I care far less about who takes out the trash than I do about the way he talks to me.
Purpose to connect with him each day. We like to have coffee together every morning. And I like to send along a short love note, give him a quick call in the middle of the day, or simply snuggle into him at the end of the evening.
The BEST marriage advice we’ve ever heard
Pay attention to the details. The way he likes his coffee. When he needs an item that I could pick up for him while in town. Those tiny details that express love to him. Bless him with a kind word. Pass on a word of encouragement or appreciation. Make it your daily habit to say something nice to him. Reach out and touch him. Before you go to sleep at night. I want him to drift off thinking about my love for him. That he is your special guy? So those are some of my secrets. Our daughter thinks so too. This post may contain affiliate links. Read my full disclosure.
Your email address will not be published. Lisa, those are beautiful truths and a powerful way to impact a marriage and to give it stamina and endurance. Thank you for this post. We have been married for 31 years this year.
Faithfully we do 8 of the 10 so this is an amazing list. These are great Lisa! Thanks for sharing these 10 habits for a happy marriage!