To be the chess player , not the chess piece. To be one of the few who do, not one of the many who merely talk! That the global economy would be back on track and growing dynamically again? All these years later, central bankers are still fighting an epic battle to revive economic growth.
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You know how insane that is? The whole purpose of the banking system is for you to make a profit by loaning money to banks, so they can lend it out to others. But people around the world now have to pay banks to accept their hard-earned savings. The Wall Street Journal wanted to discover when the world last experienced a period of negative yields.
So the newspaper called an economic historian. You know what he told them? I recently learned that the finance arm of Toyota had issued a three-year bond that yields just 0. At that rate, it would take you 69, years to double your money! For me, this reality was driven home emphatically last year when I arranged a meeting of my Platinum Partners: We had already listened to the opinions of seven self-made billionaires. But now it was time to hear from a man who, for two decades, had wielded more economic power than anyone else alive.
I was seated in one of two leather wingback chairs on a stage in a conference room at the Four Seasons hotel in Whistler, British Columbia. Outside the snow was falling gently. Appointed by President Ronald. Reagan in , Greenspan ultimately served as the Fed chief to four presidents before retiring in We could hardly have asked for a more experienced insider to cut through the confusion and shed light on the future of the economy.
As our two-hour conversation drew to a close, I had one final question for this man who had seen it all, who had guided the US economy through thick and thin for 19 years. But let me tell you the good news: They know their predictions will often be wrong because the world is just too complex and fast changing for anybody to foresee the future. Control what you can control.
And this book will show you exactly how to do it. You need the insights, the tools, the skills, the expertise, and the specific strategies that will empower you to achieve true and lasting prosperity. You need to learn the rules of the financial game, who the players are, what their agendas are, where you can get hurt, and how you can win.
This knowledge can set you free. One reason why is that index funds are designed to match the returns of the market. Even better, index funds charge minuscule fees, saving you a fortune over the long run. I wish it were that simple, though. As a lifelong student of human behavior, I can tell you this: Buy and hold tends to go out the window. The bad news is that our kids are watching groups of people being profiled and discriminated against.
The bad news is that rules are being made quickly about how people should be treated based on where they live and how they look. The bad news is that people are being judged and profiled. The bad news is that lots of people are scared. I am not sure exactly what happened, but I know it evolved over time. They needed to get used to each other and realize that both groups loved the snow, loved the sport, and loved nature.
They needed to realize that while some members of each group fit the stereotype, most did not. They were all the same people who lived in their communities, and all human. We need to teach our children about humanity and human nature. Humans are filled with love and compassion, and humans get scared and intimidated.
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Humans can work together to accomplish amazing things, and humans can blame others for their misfortune. Sure, one can argue we have much larger issues facing us than what type of equipment to use in the snow, but the human issues are not different. We must learn to accept differences.
We must learn the difference between something being different and a threat. We must ultimately realize that we will last longer as a civilization if we choose love over hate and fear. We must teach our kids the difference. We can all get along — just like the snowboarders and skiers.
Last weekend we had an extended family dinner with many relatives. I was sitting on a cushion on the fireplace and looking at a large couch and an oversized chair stuffed with nine cousins ranging from ages 12 to They were smiling, laughing, sitting on each other and… they were all on their phones!
At that moment I realized I was observing — and living in — a social experiment that is universal to all families today. While the specific struggles with screen time vary from family to family, as a counselor to parents, teens, children I know this is an issue parents struggle with every day. Here are 5 tips I try to implement in my own home and I tell my patients to practice:.
Accept reality — Many adults fight technology in the same way our parents fought too much television a different screen but still a screen. Most of our kids will not remember a life without smart phones. They grew up with this a small computer in their hands and the ability to access anything, any time. Educate — We need to talk not lecture but actually dialog with our kids about technology — the pros and the cons.
Ask your children what they think about technology and what they like about it. Ask them whether they think all technology is the same — smartphone, gaming, computers. Collaborate — Help you kids learn to self-regulate and be independent by inviting them into the conversation about technology usage, what is appropriate, and what is too much. It is always interesting to hear what our kids think as I have often had children clients be more restrictive of themselves than their parents were planning — when kids are part of the technology plan, they will be more invested in the plan being successful.
Be Self-Aware — How much technology do you use? What are you modeling for your children? Are always on your smartphone or tablet?
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Are the things you are checking or researching more important than what your child wants to do on their device? You might want to ask your child how much they think you are on electronics. Remember, our kids are always watching us. Do they see your screen or your face? Schedule breaks and family time — Even though kids want to be in charge of their lives all parents and therapists know they need guidance and limits. We need to provide limits based on their developmental age and their maturity level.
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These breaks can be co-created during the collaborative conversations you have with your kids about a family plan and this plan should include family activities a hike, a game, cooking. The perfect blend includes screen time, family time and alone time and this will work for all of us regardless of age. We are living in a digitized world and it is only becoming more digitized every day.
This piece first appeared on Huffington Post. I grew up in a home that had regular family dinners. My dad had a consistent job schedule and we had family dinner at 6: I remember eating our salad first, then the rest of the dinner. Today I have a practice as a child — adolescent — family psychologist and I now know that there is proven research that family dinners are reliable predictors of both child health and adjustment.
Good job to my mom and dad! I remember when I learned about the benefit of family dinners during my professional training and of course I had no doubt that when I became a parent I would have family dinners. I guess I was paying attention when I was young because I thought about this before I was even married! Fast forward years later and, sure enough, I was married and my wife and I had three children — all under the age of six. It was finally time for our family dinners!
My wife and I were both raised this way and we both knew by this time that family dinners lead to healthy children and positive adjustment. We were ready and confident. And of course an upset Dad. Thankfully, my wife had a much better perspective. We will have plenty of family dinners when they get older. We just need to go with the flow. And I continued to worry: Will they ever understand that being together at dinner is important? What will their family memories be?
How could we fail at this? Fortunately, over time, meal by meal our dinners improved — and one day we realized we were actually enjoying these family dinners. We had it all figured out. Just as suddenly as our dinners began improving and we had a real tradition — everything changed again. Recently my wife went back to nursing two nights a week and our teens were alone and our family dinner schedule changed.
Back to less family dinners again. Fast forward to last week: I had a work dinner and my wife was working. We would both be home late. No family dinner — again. That night I got home later than expected and I was shocked by what I discovered: My youngest daughter was smiling widely when I went to her room to ask her about the night and my own smile was wider than all three of my teens combined! In that instant, I flashed back to the dinner days of crying, high chairs, and fighting. I laughed out loud because even amidst the flying food, the disruptive tantrums and constantly changing schedules our kids got it and finally so did I.
I literally heard what I tell my clients — do what is meaningful to you as a parent and what you believe is good for your family; try not to worry about the future; show your kids what matters in life by living it — and repeat all of these often. What we do big and small will make a difference in their lives and in ours. And finally, yes the kids are paying attention — just like we did when we were the ones sitting around the dinner table. These are still the top themes in most of my counseling sessions as a psychologist — with adults, with teens, and even with children. Mainly, the discussions were about the presidential election, then it was about the winner of the election, and now it is about the very uncertain future.
What will happen to immigrants? What will happen to trade policies? Will the right to choose disappear? Will gay marriage be overturned?
What is going to happen with Russia? In my profession there is a saying that uncertainty breeds anxiety. I think most of us would agree with this statement. I remember learning about nuclear bombs and nuclear war.
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I have vivid images etched into my brain of mushroom clouds and nuclear fall-out. I remember watching the movie The Day After full of fear. I remember nights awake in my childhood bed being scared of Russia bombing us and of dying. Fast forward to My wife and I are raising 3 teenagers. How much are they worrying about the future?
These are the signs of raising children in uncertain times. As the year ends we are all having important and honest conversations with spouses and partners, family, and friends — and in my case my patients. How can we approach the new year and this uncertain world with positivity and peace? Here are 5 ways to curate daily well-being:. The future is always uncertain — Humans trick ourselves into feeling secure.
We want to believe that we have control, that nothing bad will happen. These thoughts make us feel happy. But uncertain times challenge this strategy. So what can we do to conquer fear and feel peace and happiness?
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I suggest we accept and embrace the uncertainty — forget the concepts of good or bad outcomes and instead focus on life is always changing and if we allow our minds to be at peace with the unknown then we can adapt to any challenge. History proves that humans adapt and survive — Our human species has been evolving, adapting, and surviving for a very long time. It is in our DNA. Like our ancestors we can and will deal with our social, environmental, and political circumstances. Go back to your American and World History lessons: The present is the only thing that exists — All we have is the present.
All anxiety and worry exists in a future that has yet to occur. I want you to decide how much time you are willing to devote to worrying about the future or the past when you can be focused on today. The present moment and day is all we can count on, until the next one comes — I tell this to my patients all the time. People are inherently good — We never stop believing in the goodness of humanity and the human spirit. There are many, many people who share your values and are committed to a world filled with loving and compassionate people. People will continue to fight for what is right, for equal rights, for human respect and decency.
There are a lot of good people in our country and in the world. Be the best person you can be every single day — We all can contribute to our collective well-being: We can and must have relationships. Engage with your children, spouse, family and friends. Engage in your job. Treat people with kindness, solve problems small and big, and stand up for what you believe. Remember that you are fallible, not perfect, and not expected to do anything but your best on this single day. We can all do this today, tomorrow, and then every next day.
What I have learned over the decades is this: Be the person you want to be and you want your kids to be. Model for them what it is like to live fully and care about humanity. Show them, and tell them, about how humans adapt and survive and that we are inherently good. Show them and teach them how to live in the present. Most importantly, show them how to be the best human they possibly can be — one that makes mistakes, cares about people, and does the best they can every day. These are the keys to their future and ours.
Do you approach parenting in a way that feels natural to you? They may be less likely to think outside of the box nor take chances as to not make a mistake or get in trouble. The permissive parenting style allowed children to do what they wanted and parents did not tell their kids what to do. This parenting style tends to produce children who grow up not knowing where to draw limits in their behavior, and may range from being anxious and nervous in the world to rebellious and lacking responsibility due to lack of guidance and parental expectations.
Authoritative parents tend to talk more to their kids and listen to their thoughts and wishes, yet still make the final decision on matters of importance. Children raised in this parenting style tend to be responsible and cooperative adults, yet may need to look to others for validation as they may lack an inner confidence in their decisions. Do any of the above parenting styles describe you? Are you happy and content with your own parenting approach? Are you parenting like your parents parented you?
Are you doing what you liked experiencing as a child? Are you repeating things you told yourself you would never do to your own child? I can best answer these questions by using a term I invented: We are all leaving footprints on our children and we had footprints left us on by our parents. They may be positive, negative, or neutral, but we are all leaving our legacy to our children and future grandchildren every day. The real question is — what footprint you want to leave? As our society is evolving, so is parenting.
There is a new paradigm of parenting that is focused on the type of person we are as parents and how who we are matters most to the outcome of our children. Sure, our parenting approach definitely matters, but before we return to that topic, I want to ask you to consider what your kids see you do day in and day out?
What are you doing with your time, what are they hearing you say? Do you tell them to stand up for themselves with mean friends, yet they see you get taken advantage of from others? I know these are hard questions to ask ourselves but the good news is that our kids benefit from us parents looking at ourselves and becoming aware of who we are as individuals and as parents. The new paradigm of parenting also focuses on parents teaching and guiding, rather than controlling and exerting our will over our children.
This new paradigm highlights the importance of parents realizing our children are separate people from us with separate paths, separate interests, and separate goals. Once we know who we are and what we want for our child, we can observe and listen to what and who our child is. To ask this question, and ponder the answer, provides you with the initial plan in which to parent your child.
Do you want your child to be confident, successful, compassionate, or hard working? What are you doing to support this parenting goal? Are you controlling and managing your child or are you guiding and teaching? We are in the middle of this new parenting paradigm, and I invite you to get onboard. This is a 2 for 1 special.