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Get rest; eat well, and cancel or reschedule what appointments you can. All you may want to do right now is to shut everyone out, but this would be counter-productive.

Reward Yourself

Instead, have a modified "open door policy": And remember, when you need to take a time out, it's really okay to lock your door so you can rest. Use ritual to make your grieving a sacred experience. Personal rituals which engage the senses—such as the lighting of a candle, beginning or ending the day with a calming yoga practice, journaling or other creative endeavors, even the ritualized use of essential oils—do much to affirm the sacred nature of the transition you're going though as well as affirm the otherworldly connection you still have with the deceased.

Turn to your faith. If you have a religious background, this is not the time to neglect your spirituality. While the death of your loved one may cause you to doubt your beliefs for a time, or even force you to change your beliefs based on what you've experienced; revisiting your spiritual training can be useful to you right now. Find significance and meaning in your loved one's death.

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You'll never be able to answer all the questions you have like "Why did this have to happen? Hang on to your memories, but don't cling to them. The past is gone and it's not smart to dwell on it. But the memories you have of your loved one can fuel your grief work. Don't let your memories fade; document each of them, either using a journal or a handheld digital recorder.

Healing a Broken Heart

It doesn't matter the exact nature of your loss: You've got to keep your focus on grieving attentively and purposefully, at a time when you're exhausted. Nineteenth-century English author Mary Ann Evans, who wrote under the pen-name George Eliot, described the work of grieving this way:. We think it both accurately describes the goal in grieving: Grieving requires you to accept the perfection of the status quo. As Valery Satterwhite wrote, it's important to "know that everything is in perfect order whether you understand it or not" Source: It's also valuable to remain expectant of good things happening to you, including relief from the hour-to-hour suffering of bereavement.

When you're having a difficult day, recall these words, from Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of Simple Abundance: A Yearbook of Comfort and Joy: Integrating your loss and recovering your enthusiasm for life through attentive mourning takes time.