Then today I got in my car and began to drive and although all the windows were rolled all the way up I checked I felt a cool refreshing breeze across my face and my right arm. I am thirty-two years old, and there is about five issues of life problems that I possibly could not relate to. I know the feeling of shock and restarting over again, as I too wanted to change my name to Mara bitter sometimes. I pray over my children and ask God to bless them also because I am Haggai. He has taught me to use my influence as Ester instead of Jezebel.
He took time out for me, just as he did for the woman at the well. When I wanted to die at the age of twelve, he disbursed Angels out on my behalf. My mind was tired, my soul was sick, my heart was bleeding, I was so lonely and afraid, but I touched the hem…. The funny part is that I started a new job because it was close to my home. I heard my story in each.
God was preparing me to take care of these babies and share his Glory with them. Anyway, my friend was going to Australia on mission and she stood up to talk. I said to God I wanted that. By this time I was really restless. Next, we would be reading the sermon but our pastor said God had to do something. I just remember our pastor getting the band to play some music and asked the Holy Spirit to come, I felt quite nervous. He caressed my arm and calmed me down.
I do not give it to you as the world does. I asked the Lord Jesus to kiss me and amazingly He did. I also asked to rest His hand on my head and He did! Thank you Jesus x. I have to make it short or tears would wash me and I am at work. Then when they were released from the operating room one was in Room 7 and the other in Room 17 gave me the confirmation that the prayer of the saints supporting them would be answered. Thank you oh my Father!!!!!!!!!!!!
At age 38, I found out I was going to have a baby, definitely a surprise since my husband and I thought we were done. When I was at the doctors office for my first checkup, the nurse explained that they could not find my chart and had been looking for it for a long time. I prayed to God, the maker of all things. I knew that He knew where my chart was, because he even knows how many hairs are on my head.
In June, I went to a church outreach in Cincinnati. It reminded me of half a year ago, in December, where I went on another church escape, and I cried there too during worship. I think that God was telling me that He was going to do BIG things this week, and me crying was only the beginning. He used many people during the week, but not me specifically. However, the day after I returned from Cincinnati, my mom and I went to pick my brother up from a birthday party, and right before we left, a boy there collapsed.
The boy was losing color, he was not breathing, and his eyes were half open. I think he had a pulse, but I am not sure. I did not really realize it at the time, I was crying my eyes out because I was exhausted and terrified, but later my mom was saying that she prayed that he breathe, and he took a breath in. I was off to the side a bit, praying the same things as my mom. Now, the boy is okay, and will be starting school soon. And God knew that. Have a great day! Thank you so much for this post.
There are so many times I felt like giving up, situations in my life where I was told that I am not good enough. God alwalys reassure me, by letting me that His Grace is sufficient for me. Just by reading this I felt that was definetely a divine moment to be here, reading this, at this specific time. The weekend of August some of our church family gathered in New Mexico for a church camp gathering. Earlier in the week, I saw one of our church members at the local Wal-Mart.
She stopped to ask me about the campground that we were going to. We discussed the prices for tent spaces. I told her what I thought I remembered the prices as being on their website, and encouraged her to come. When my husband and I arrived, I was glad to see them there. During the course of the weekend, my husband had talked to the husband and found out the prices of the campsite where they were staying. I knew in my heart that this couple could not afford this and carried it upon my heart all weekend long. That Monday while I was doing whatever, that little voice whispered to me which I had recently ask God to help me to start obeying that voice and reminded me of the cost and the family not being able to afford the weekend.
So I went to the campground website to find out what it may have cost them to come. I followed the voice inside of me and sent a card to them without a return address and some money in it.
Anna Graham
This past Sunday, the lady stood up before we started the service and thanked whoever sent the card and the money. She genuinely expressed her gratitude. The pastor supported what she said by saying that the husband had talked to him during the week and also expressed what happened and his gratitude.
I was content and proud for listening and acting instead of blowing that Voice off. I felt such an overwhelming joy and closeness to God. I started to cry because God was again rewarding me for what I thought was such a small act. God knows that I read this email daily and that I share it with those whom He instructs me to send it to. It makes me yearn for more. You Are A Blessing. I never met my biological father. My mother and step-dad divorced when I was a teen. Then, he wasnt in my life any more. I felt so unwanted and so alone. The 2nd verse really spoke to me. The next day at work, I was thinking about that song.
The next thing I knew this Presence was on all around me holding me. I had never felt God like that! It was powerful and comforting … I wept. He made Himself known to me as God my Father. God the Father wanted me! For those reading this, the 2nd verse goes like this: I have a Father, He calls me His own. I was telling a friend how heartbroken I was about my children we had moved and my children were not taking the move good they hated it. God truly does answer prays. My glory moment came on a beautiful Saturday afternoon a couple of week ago.
My husband passed away on June 5th, I also had been to a funeral for another wife that lost her husband. I felt so worn down, lonely and what is my purpose without my husband. Still trying to work through all of this moment by moment. But as I sat outside I fell asleep, but when I woke I saw the most unusal sky.
The clouds where layered like 3D with shades of overcast. Then in one spot it looked like an opening with a bright white light. Also, there was a shade of pink and a blue that reminded me of the Caribbean waters. Never have I seen something so special. I voice in my heart told me it was what my husband was seeing in Heaven and one day I would see it also if I kept my faith.
It was so emotional, glorious and comforting. Well it looks like there is a collection of Sudden Glory stories right here on this blog that could fill a book. Oh how I love these glory moments. Sometimes they are as simple as a song. I suffered with low self esteem to begin with. Thankfully, I had said yes to a leadership position out of obedience, despite feeling unworthy. Now I was traveling to have a meeting with one of the Area Coordinators under my stewardship. I headed out late, leaving my home disheveled and feeling stressed.
How can you lead anyone? You can listen here http: I went ahead with the meeting, with an apology for being late, of course. And the grace of forgiveness extended freely. Just love your way with words, Sharon. The more I read, the more I enjoy. And you sure have a way of sparking sharing. About yrs ago I was about to start a position as a church secretary.
I was overwhelmed with anxiety.
A Sudden Glory – When God Makes His Presence Known
I felt so very inadequate! A few days before I was to start I woke during the night, trembling with anxiety! I had gotten myself so worked up about it I could hardly breathe. I sat on the side of my bed, pulled out my bible and started to read the devotion for that day out of a daily devotion book I had been using. As soon as I read the title of the devotion I gasped! As I continued to read I realized it was written for me, who knows how long ago, for that very day! It was inspired by God, given to the writer…for me!
I knew God was sitting right there with me on that bed! I began to cry out loud! Tears of joy ran from my eyes and down my face as I took in the reality of His presence and His love for me! He cared how I felt! He wanted me to know He gave me the job and with His help I could do it! It still amazes me and I share about that moment in time often! I often pray that God will remind me to keep my eyes open, ears alert to all that He is doing around me! Thank you for allowing me to share about one of my experiences with our loving, faithful Father!
I hope this is an encouragement to others! My father past away in I received a call from my brother saying my dad only had a few hours to live. I made it to the hospital by 2am and I told my dad I loved him. He was in the ICU unit. I was able to spend 7 days with my dad.
I got to show him I loved him and it was all because of God. I had recently taken a job at a school and was very unsure about it. I was very nervous and I drove by this school on my way to Wal-Mart one day and I just started praying for guidance and strength when the school year starts. We stood there and talked for about a half hour. By the time we were done I was very relaxed and excited about the school year.
My sudden glory ache happened this weekend after praying for my seeking cousin. I had prayed for her that Sunday afternoon and asked the LORD to reveal to me how to Minister and Witness to her because I knew she was spiritually lost. I prayed for her and for wisdom to know how to lead her to HIS throne of ultimate and lasting and precious grace! She had seen the lives of Christians changed dramatically and when she seen me with my Bibles she asked about finding a relationship with God after attending Catholic church as a child and never finding God.
Yesterday, I got a text from a friend of mine and it was about a teaching he thought I should hear. It was about the exact things I was trying to talk to my cousin about! I text her and it was anther way that God showed up for me this weekend and I could go on and on about how God has showed up and fulfilled my Glory Ache time after time and then time again! I remember some years ago, when i was not yet marriad to my husband,we use to funicate and we were comfortable with it but one day i went to the church and just one message from the pastor,the holy spirit convicted me that fornication is bad and we were set free from it.
We did not fornicate again since thet day. I know it was the glory of God that came upon me and i thank God because we are now marriad with two children. The day I accepted Christ as my Saviour in a hospital bed, having been deathly sick with a kidney disease for 2 years, came first. I remembered all the choruses I had learned in Sunday School about heavenly sunshine flooding my soul and I began to sing them all!
I was so filled with the joy of the Lord, it was amazing! Two days later, I asked the Lord to heal me and as I was praying, He touched my back and I could actually feel the hand of God moving things back into place! The very next specimen I gave was absolutely normal! It was in , when everyone was saying that God was dead — I knew He was very much alive and has carried me through for another 50 years, praise God!
I know my Redeemer lives! It happened about eight years ago. I was going through some very hard time, both financial and personal life. My oldest was married with two kids and had a lot of problems. Of course he always came to me. I felt like i was at the end of my rope. I was taking the bus at that time. One day I left work early. A clown with a rainbow afro wig. I wanted to laugh out loud.
What could be more colorful then a clown with a rainbow wig. Since when do clowns ride the bus. I knew it was telling me not to worry. God has a sense of humor but He talked to me that day. One of the most precious to me was at my church. One Sunday a visiting pastor made an alter call. Once he got to me, he started praying then stopped after just a couple sentences. I figured God was telling him something and boy did He ever! The pastor started to tell me that I was striving, and feeling the need to perform.
And to get out of religiosity. He prayed to break that bondage that was over me and for me to know that God loved s me as I am. There was no doubt that those words were from the Lord. I was so overwhelmed, my husband held me as I wept and wept. It was such a cleansing experience and I walked away free.
This devotion is one of those moments for me because it leads me to remember all of the other times God has revealed Himself to me. I just need to remember to look: I loved your devotion today, it was such a blessing. I received so much joy as I read it, as I had just published my devotion on my blog for today on a similar theme. If you are interested, here is my post about it — Discouraged? This is my first time to respond to one of your invitations to share and I have been so blessed by reading all the entries so far and tears have welled up at seeing how tender and personal our Lord is to each one of his children.
I felt totally overwhelmed by my circumstances, and was sitting at my dining room table crying out to the Lord. I told him I so wished he was there in the flesh to hold me close and tell me everything was going to be okay. I had a cat named Isaiah, who then came up behind me on the chair and stretched himself up across my back placing one of his front paws on each shoulder, which was not something he normally does.
I began to really cry then, as I felt the Lord ministering to me via my cat. The 2nd one involves butterflies. God sends me butterflies almost every time I venture out, especially on walks. They usually are yellow swallowtails. One day I was very heavy in heart at work and went outside for my break to pray to the Lord as I walked around the parking lot. All of a sudden a Monarch butterfly flew right at me and landed on my belly. I was so amazed and then I felt as if the Lord was giving me this big hug of love and reassurance.
Of course, tears flooded downward and the butterfly stayed on my belly for my entire break as I walked slowly. He can take what was meant to destroy me and bring good out of it. We encountered an awful storm. The thunder and lightening seemed to be on going for hours. As I got in my bed, I had fear, fear that a tree could fall or lightening strink a pole outside my house. I began to do my nightly devotional and the power went out, so I lit a candle, and just turned to a random chapter in my Bible.
I opened it to Job The scripture was discussing how God brings storms to help our agriculture and to show us how mighty He is. I felt a since of calm come over me. I was no longer afraid of the storm, but appreciative. I felt as though God was showing me that I had nothing to be afraid of. It was a beautiful moment I shared with HIm. Thank you for this devotion. It has allowed me to reflect on how much God does speak to me through out the day.
I had exams to write. Before that day,I asked God to direct my studies. I was getting mad but said a prayer. I left the papers behind because i was running late and needed to get to school. When i got to school,i had a prompting to study something different and when my paper was given to me to start work,all i could do was just thank God..
He had shown His glory.. What He prompted me to study instead was all there and not all the ones i had wanted to carry to school so badly. I was happy and humbled by His greatness.. I had come down with a stomach bug and was in the bathroom in terrible pain, vomitting, praying and calling out to God to help me. I felt both my arms become tingly and then pressure on my fingers on both hands. I knew God was in the bathroom with me loving holding my hands telling me I would be alright. I was an awesome moment and I realised how much my Daddy loved me. I have had many Glory Moments, but this one was so meaningful to me.
My husband , who was bi-polar had quit his job and I had to work two jobs just to make ends meet. It was Easter break and the children would be at home all the following week. That was only enough to put gas in the car for going to work. I decided I would go to my parents house and see what they had in their freezer that I could use to feed the children. I explained our money shortage to the children and told them my plan to feed them during the next week.
I told them it might not be what they wanted but at least they would have some food. The next day I went to the mail box before heading for my parents house. It was from a woman I had not seen or heard from in over five years. We realized that day that God had not forgotten us. Praise God for all the glory moments He has provided! My most undeniable experience with God happened just last week. I am blessed with the ability to fall asleep most nights within seconds of shutting my eyes, but this one night I laid awake in bed, and it was really getting to me.
My husband was already snoring away while I waited for the magic to happen to me. The minutes were ticking away and nothing was happening. That always made me go to sleep in a snap. I thought of trying meditation which is a skill I learned for relaxation and to relieve anxiety. I got so scared! Then God immediately repeated it in a slightly lower volume. I fell asleep then. What an incredible feeling. My relationship with God feels so validated and personal! He wants me to remember to go to Him first!
I forever will remember! I feel so blessed! That whole side of the family had been against us as the only Christians for our whole marriage. That was exciting enough, but then to have the younger brother want to attend church, and has since been in regular attendance, has been indescribable.
For years I prayed specifically for the younger brother. Now I just keep praying that as he grows and loses the sin nature he has been accustom to living, that he will realize his true purpose that God has for him. Before I became serious about my walk with Christ, I had gone through a divorce, got involved with a man that was not a Christian, and did things I was not proud of. I then heard a quiet, still voice tell me that my slate has been wiped clean and to clean out my closet. As a new Christian, I thought that literally meant to clean out a closet and I did!!!
But I later understood that the closet He was referring to is me. It was time to let my past go. It was time to forgive myself and be at peace in His gift of mercy and forgiveness. I will be honest and tell you that it was hard at first to accept such a gift because forgiveness of that magnitude is a beautiful but overwhelming thing.
For as long as I can remember I have had a heart and passion for helping people. I went to school in Washington state where I am from and was blessed to be able to align my passions with my education. I graduated with a degree in Human Services and through this degree, I have gained experience working with various populations, including families in the child welfare system, youth in chemical dependency treatment and children suffering from mental health issues. I am so grateful to be a part of the America World team.
After a short teaching career, she put her missions experience to work as she oversaw orphanage partnerships in Haiti and Africa. She was responsible for sponsorship programs and sending out over 30 mission teams per year. It was on a mission trip to El Salvador in that the Lord planted a seed in my heart to consider ways in which I can care for orphans.
During this time we were stuggling with infertility and why God was not giving us children? On October 22, , we brought our beautiful daughter home from China. Then, just 5 months later, our son was born. We believe God wanted us to see that there was no difference between growing a family biologically or through adoption.
I am privileged to be a part of the ministry of America World Adoption since Sharing the miracle of adoption with others and daily working alongside our amazing staff is such a blessing. I grew up in the St. Louis area and went to college at Union University in Tennessee where I received my degree in Intercultural Studies with the hope of serving in some international capacity. Subsequent mission trips to Kenya and Tanzania further stirred my heart to help international children in some way. I live in Washington, DC with my husband and our three fish.
I am in awe as I look at the way God has directed my steps over the years to fulfill a passion He has placed in my heart. I have always loved working with children and have wanted to be a part of the adoption process for a long time. I obtained a degree in Social Work and had the opportunity to work with children in the U. Over the years, God has continued to give me a burden for children all around the world.
I was never sure where God would lead me, but one step at a time, He has faithfully shown me that I can trust Him to reveal things at just the right time. My professional career has been spent in the area of adoption for over 25 years with a passion to create a safer world for the most defenseless, by insuring that each child finds their God-given family to call their own.
My scope of adoption started when God placed a desire in my heart to adopt at the age of 12 years old. A beautiful and lasting love for the country of India began 31 years ago when my 8 week old baby girl from India was placed in my arms. I am now a parent of seven children, four of whom came to my family through international adoption and a grandparent of ten children, two of whom were adopted from India.
My life has been richly blessed by the children God has placed in my life. It gives me great joy to be a part of the miracle of adoption. My experience in the field of adoption encompasses directorships of a non-profit profit agency, branch office director and family services director. I have coordinated adoptions in the countries of Vietnam, Nepal and India. I have extensive training working with parents, specializing in the areas of grief and loss and facilitating reunions for birthparents and adoptees.
I personally and professionally know firsthand the joys, frustrations and anxiety that families often experience during and after their adoption. I have the ongoing desire to support families who walk this path and to be a catalyst for change in the lives of vulnerable children by being a part of finding their forever families.
I am blessed to be a part of the America World Team. Since joining the America World team in , I have had the honor of working with an incredible team here at America World and have been privileged to work with many wonderful families throughout the years. My first exposure to orphans came while working in an orphanage in India and it was from this experience, that God began to stir a passion in me for international ministry and for children around the world.
After returning to the States, I could not get the smiling faces of these precious children out of my mind. After waiting on God, He truly gave me the desires of my heart and I am blessed to have the opportunity to serve families and children through America World.
Since that first trip to India years ago, God has given me multiple opportunities to minister to children in a number of countries, including special needs children in China, children in Africa, as well as living in South America and ministering to youth and street children.
I count it a true blessing to be able to help build families through adoption. At the age of fourteen I left home to pursue my education at a Christian-based boarding school in New Market, Virginia. During those years I fell in love with the Shenandoah Valley and chose to remain there. I wanted to run into the room and tell her I believed she could raise her baby.
I left that day feeling horrible Monika - May 15th, at 2: LaRissa - This is exactly the point of view from which I come from. I relinquished my daughter at birth to an open adoption - not because of addiction issues or anything else, and certainly not because I was forced to do so. But my heart absolutely breaks to see children languishing in foster care, and I wonder about all the Christians who are so eager to adopt "orphans" and they really don't know if these children really are orphans from other countries but won't even touch helping an actual orphan here in the United States.
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- A Lover for Your Life.
- 50 Russian Folk-Songs. No. 31. Thank You, But No Thank You, Father Superior?
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The "almighty dollar" drives coercive behaviors both here and abroad. Jolene - May 15th, at 2: Adoption is such a personal choice, there really is no need - or benefit - to judging whether one family chooses to parent a child from abroad or domestically. Everyone I know with a heart for orphans has a heart for ALL orphans, regardless of nationality. The circumstances that lead us to adopt from one place or another are as complicated as the circumstances that lead one to choose one spouse over another.
Hannah - May 16th, at 9: We've adopted through the US foster system and internationally both special needs adoptions and it really is a personal decision with many, many variables that make it impossible for most people to fully understand. Our first child was our foster son, who we adopted after 2 years of being up in the air about whether he would be reunified with his birth family.
It is no simple thing to parent a child with your whole heart, knowing that that the child may be only temporarily with you. We went on to have 3 biological children, and then decided to adopt again. We were told that unless we wanted to do foster care, we could not adopt a child under 8 in our state these children are being adopted by their foster parents or relatives.
At that time we wanted to maintain birth order in our family, so we decided to adopt internationally. My husband and I wouldn't mind doing foster care again, but we didn't feel it was in the best interest of our young children at home especially our son who was adopted to allow them to attach to children who may well be reunited with their first families. So you see, it's not as simple as it seems.
And, children are children, no matter where they live. We are looking into older child adoption in the US at this time. Sadly, by no fault of their own, the children who are languishing often have issues that require more than good intentions to parent as Jen said. We want to be fully prepared to parent another hurting child before we jump into this, so we are taking it very slowly, it will probably be years before we are ready, due to having so many little ones at home already.
JMale - May 15th, at 2: If I may, I add my "Amen" here! I so appreciate the courageous and sensitive discussion in place and in particular to include domestic adoption. We adopted 3 older ages children through foster care and while I recognize the state's efforts to reunite, I honestly feel that there could have and should have been a different system in order to have a different outcome.
I wonder what might have been if the children could have been placed WITH their mother in a caring, nurturing and therapeutic foster home. The children would be safe, cared for and provided for. The mother could be 'mothered' as needed and would receive therapy to help her heal addictions, abuses, etc. She would receive job training and placement. By lesson and example she would learn parenting skills. The children would receive their care from their mother building trust.
Would this be expensive? But when I think of the resources spent for foster care, courts, adoption, and afterwards, I believe in the long run, it would cost LESS. Would it require a new way of thinking? As things are now, the children are the ones who have to adapt and deal with immense losses. Would it be difficult? But the consequences are more difficult to deal with and they last forever! Would this be for every situation? I am so grateful that my children heard compassion for their birthmom, and now as adults have a good relationship with both of us.
As a mom, is this hard? Becca - May 16th, at 9: And totally agree, as someone who works with the families that often end up having their kids taken away by DFCS. Gitta - August 30th, at 7: Bet - May 14th, at 1: Thank you for writing this. It needs to be said. We have to go to the tough places, no matter where they take us. And we cannot create an industry that leads to child trafficking and family separation. God's plan for all of us is a family first, not at the expense of first families. Rachel - May 14th, at 1: We NEED to talk about this. Three adoptions later, I know there's so much corruption in the domestic infant adoption "industry.
Adoption ethics needs to be talked about, because as Christians, we are held accountable for our actions! Shayna - May 14th, at 1: Is for us - to get that child we've always wanted, to fill a void or to be a "good Christian" - or is it for them - to minister to the children who are abused, hurting, neglected or suffering loss? I think that too many times, we have a very one-sided view of redemption - choosing to look at its beauty and glory while forgetting the literal blood and sweat and tears involved.
May we see the kids there ARE and be willing to get in the trenches for them. Steve - May 14th, at 1: Jen, I suggest you check out CasaViva http: Their mission is to strengthen families in Latin America so that orphanages can become a thing of the past. Their focus is on reuniting "orphans" with family or extended family and helping those families cope with the struggles and trials of life so they can stay together. The family receives education and training and other forms of relational and vocational assistance to help them become self-sufficient within two years.
I am a personal friend of the founder of ARS and have had the opportunity to meet and listen to the founder of CasaViva. Both are top-notch organizations that are doing pioneering work in the area of Orphan Prevention. Love the family sponsorship angle! This is one of the few posts I have read lately that didn't make my blood pressure sky rocket. We adopted our youngest child from ET and we got the lovely joy of enduring corruption from our US Embassy.
My agency was part of a ministry organization and was and is cream of the crop. I know better than to think it never happens. Otherwise we scare off potential adoptive parents. I just appreciate your words here. I'm not sure we need it continue in that direction. Shasta - May 14th, at 9: Thank you for sharing this from ET.
I've worked in Haiti for over 10 years and even in my early years before I ever thought about my own adoptions, we were bombarded on every trip with people trying to "give" us babies or actually just leaving them with us thinking we could or would take them to "Miami". When I hear claims that most babies must be coming from coerced moms I just don't get why some people think that way as I've never seen or experienced it.
I've learned from research that yes, a baby demand creates a baby supply, however that supply can be met, but to make it appear as if that is the norm and most babies are "supplied" to meet the adoption demand isn't a fair assessment. Dawn - May 14th, at 1: I read the comment by "Gina" who said, "love your heart Holly - May 14th, at 1: Thank you so much, this was fantastic!
And it needs to be said. Thank you for your courage and bravery, I personally know it can bring opposition. There is a small link up on my blog of others who are talking about ethics in adoptions as well. We all need to "come to the table". Lori - May 14th, at 1: We adopted 2 older girls from Ethiopia. We were surprised to find out that they also have two able bodied birth parents. I wonder and grieve. It breaks my heart! Brittany - May 14th, at 1: If you watch the little video on the page it makes sense- good intentions are not enough.
Also, our church has partnered with Watoto in Africa- they are helping to build up their communities by raising the orphans as a family. It's a great mission.
If what we really cared about was giving loving homes to children who are without, than the US alone wouldn't have , children legally free for adoption, just waiting for someone to care. It's not only countries that know the score, but as a former foster child who was never adopted, I can assure you that these kids know the score as well. You are so right. This is such a painful reality. You maybe didn't get adopted, but you are just as precious and valuable as any person ever was.
Deb - May 14th, at 8: Lanie - May 15th, at 2: Thank you for finally opening this can of worms. You have a huge following, and with that a huge responsibility. I remember when you were going to Uganda, hoping and wishing you could meet Mark and Karen Riley they tried to meet you, but to no avail.
We talked about the huge following you had and how nice it would be if you touched on adoption ethics. All adoptive parents from Africa started on the same journey, you know the one that you tell yourself, "I could save at least one". Well, hopefully most of us have learned now, that orphanages create orphans and that alternative care and family resettlement should take priority. What if each of us instead of adopting, offered that 25K plus to help keep famlies together. Would we be willing to do that??? Please, if you haven't already gotten involved with Uganda ethics, get in touch with Mark Riley and his work in Uganda.
Also, I am sure you have seen Mercy, Mercy, the documentary about Ethiopian adoption. Thanks again, and yes, do not lead your followers in this crazy save an orphan movement, but rather please enlighten them on the truth about international adoptions and familiy preservations. Mandi - May 14th, at 1: Thank you for this, Jen! While I long to adopt, my husband is not yet at that place, but I feel like this series and I'm hoping especially Part 2 can give me some very real alternatives to adoption that our family can participate in instead.
My heart's breaking for the families who have lost babies to this corruption, and I appreciate you delving into a tough topic! BGK - May 14th, at 1: While there is ample evidence that some Christian agencies are ethical, there is also plenty of evidence that others lie. I cannot be complicit in possibly harming a vulnerable woman or fatherless child, even though my intent is good- so we sponsor. Cyn - May 14th, at 1: I found this so hard to read but so necessary. We adopted domestically and we have a relationship with my son's birth mother who we adore very much for so many reasons not the least of which is that she gave birth to the young man that is a son to me and to her.
But yes, we could have chosen to help her rather than adopt her child. I feel sad that I may be part of continuing the cycle rather than part of the solution. Thank you for starting this conversation. K - May 14th, at 1: I am glad to be reading more posts like these. We fostered and then adopted our two foster sons who could not reunify with their parents. I don't think poverty should ever be the reason behind adoption.
Two of the children we fostered were able to return to their birth mom who fully deserved them after she was given time to get her life in order. We need to focus on reunification when it is possible in both the US foster care system as well as international adoption. Cary - May 14th, at 1: Bless you and your hard words. Bless the cry for children and not for adoptive parents. Bless the people who are trying so hard to be Jesus to the least of these, both children and their first families.
May God continue to open our eyes to what He sees. Shasta Grimes - May 14th, at 1: I don't presume to know what God does but the journey through adoption has created the person I am today with the passion for adoption that I have. I am on board and agree that we must all be educated in adoptions, how they work and what is ethical or not. But in their haste to fight what they thought might possibly be a corrupt situation they have created chaos for other families. Joining a crusade to fight injustice is great if you are certain you have the facts but when you have a "feeling" something "might be wrong" then you need to be sure before you go in "armed with more than good intentions" that you are fighting true fraud and deception.
Stefanie - May 14th, at 2: So blessed by your comment, Shasta. As an adoptive mom, it is my hope that my children one day share your perspective that their life, although marred by the sin of a fallen world, was and is in the hands of the One who gave His life for them. We humans try as we might to 'make it right' - whether through orphan care, adoption, fighting for reunification, funding surgeries and foster care - but the truth is that only He can.
Our eyes must be on Him at all times and in all ways, especially when we'd rather shut them. Amanda - May 14th, at 2: I think maybe you have missed Jen's key point: It makes no difference if that particular child's birthparent was coerced or not, it matters that SOME children's birthparents were coerced. Don't try to shut down the voices of people who are concerned with these issues simply because of fear of "chaos" for other adoptive families.
Adoptive families have a role in adoption but rights of first families and children should always come first. Shasta - May 14th, at 7: I'm not trying to "shut down" the voices of anyone but we have to stop the extremes I'm seeing happen when people are "on a mission" to save first families and no one is communicating or working together. Insist on the never but at what cost? There are a lot of "rights" that need to be considered here in addition to the bio moms. Yes, the rights of first families are important but they are NOT more important than the true orphans rights that are getting caught up in "chaos" of these accusation and attempts the change the system.
In the rush to save these first families at any and all costs people ARE negatively affecting other innocent people and families in the adoption process. I do not disagree with trying to keep families together.
I don't disagree with making sure adoptions are ethical but I do not believe it's right to elevate some "rights" over others. We have to find a balance. We have to communicate. We have to work together. The balance is this. Always tell the truth. If telling the truth means that something unethical is suspended or exposed thereby hurting people that had nothing to do with it the truth is still the truth. Oh yes, I agree. I'm not saying don't do that. I'm more concerned about the groups with public cries against all international adoptions suddenly seems to be a huge push against this or those working in countries where they go in "guns blazing" to fight what they perceive to be questionable or unethical practices that then interrupt adoptions when those things could be handled differently.
TRUTH at times can be interpreted both ethically and unethically. In it's most simple form, an example that yes, could go a million ways A baby is found in a trash pile, near death. This baby has a family but they chose to put the baby out to die. For the orphanage that rescues that baby the truth to them is that baby is safer in the orphanage, alive because someone other than the bio parents cared enough to meet the needs of that child. For the "family first" advocate the truth is that the orphanage needs to give the baby back to the bio family and provide a way for them to keep that baby.
By not doing so the orphanage doesn't care about family preservation and is only money hungry hoping to adopt that baby out. Is the baby truly orphaned? Is the orphanage fueling corruption by allowing this baby to be adopted instead of finding sponsors for the family? Would it be fair for adoptive parents to rally against this orphanage claiming they don't care about first families and claim they are obtaining children in unethical ways?
See how the truth can go either way depending on the perspective you see it from? I only argue these things because I'm on both sides of the "ethical adoption war" right now in Haiti. It's not always clear what the truth is and I've seen people not fight for what is right when they should be beating the doors down and I've seen people shoot others to near death with nothing more than a rumor and a hunch that were never proven.
I want to do whatever I can to help support ethical adoptions. I feel that I am only involved in things that are right but if you not you personally, just in general, people out there don't feel that my right is right, it doesn't mean I'm wrong. It means there's a disconnect somewhere and that's why I'm pushing for more communication and cooperation in the fight for ethical adoptions because what seems so simple the label as truth, right, wrong, and ethical is not always that simple depending on where you are standing, how much information you know, your passions, the "goggles' you wear to see and perceive things and your motivation.
Just as with the example above, without knowing every back detail we can't make accusations on motivations or label this orphanage as anti bio family or corrupt but those are exactly the types of things I'm seeing happen in the adoption world under the umbrella of "ethical adoption reform". Another Adoptee - June 7th, at The answer to your scenario, as the answer to almost any scenario that could be created, is "It depends.
The answer to THAT question leads to every other question that must be answered before a permanent decision is made. The danger, on both sides, is to assume the answer to that question is obvious and proceed based on assumption rather than fact. Should the child be adopted? Should the child be reunified with the natural family? Notice I haven't said which way I 'lean' and rest assured, I do lean one way I agree with you -- communication is key.
I do not believe all adoptions are wrong, nor that all adoptions are right. That is true for me no matter what kind of adoption international, domestic, public, private, etc. I wish, fervently, that there were not "sides". I wish things like "best interests" and "ethics" were easy to define, understood by everyone, and always the same. But, as granddad said, "If wishes were fishes, we'd all have a fry.
Above all, please do not believe or say that you are unbiased. That is simply not true. Your biases are evident. You'll do just fine. Perhaps my biases are evident as well Alicia Carlson - May 14th, at 7: Shasta, I totally agree with you. I believe balance is in order. Just as the pendulum swings to the "save the poor orphan" camp, it swings to "save the poor first family.
I've seen bio families rights triumph at the cost of the physical, emotional and mental health of children who's rights were ignored because they "belonged to the parents. But, to pursue adoption reform for ethical responsibility is a good thing. But then, define "ethical. Overgeneralizing is not a good thing. And remember that we live in a sinful world. We can control our our actions, but not the actions of sending countries. OdysseyMamaC - May 14th, at 8: We recently completed foster certification to adopt a teenage girl. She moved in last week! It's not up to children to wait in limbo indefinitely while parents are afforded endless chances to get it together.
I agree that it's complicated, and while we must work for ethical adoptions, I agree with Shasta that one set of rights doesn't necessarily trump all others. Shasta, thanks so much for your input. Just as we need to listen to the voices of adult adoptees who are hurt and call for reform, we should listen to the adoptees with stories of what went right. Your voice is no less valid than the others, and I get irritated with the blogs sometimes that attempt to discredit pro-adoption adoptees as "drinking the adoption Kool-aid.
J - May 14th, at 2: I completely, one hundred percent agree with Amanda. Noel - May 15th, at Totally agree with you, Shasta! Yes, we need to be aware and do what we can but at the same time, should the child suffer in the meantime? Our son spent 19 months in the orphanage in Haiti with no one coming to get him. Despite this and having been in process for a year with him, when the earthquake hit, UNICEF, with all their clout and power, were threatening the ability for us to take our son home.
It was dire - he was 2 miles from the epicenter of the quake. He needed out of the situation. And I understand the corruption. I also know the fate of unwanted children in Haiti - child slavery. I did a presentation on the "supply and demand" of orphans for my masters program. Every person needs to determine what they can handle. Some people line up waiting for babies and others adopt broken 16 yr. For us, it was a black male toddler. Black boys are least likely to be adopted, but we did not feel able to deal with significant health issues or attachment issues seen in older children.
So we adopted the most needed child within our limits. That is a problem with the foster system, at least in CA, the parents get so many chances, the kid is so screwed up by the "parents" by the time they are able to be adopted, that often never feel loved. And the uncertainty of taking a kid into your family with the chance of the child being taken away - some people can't handle that.
Anyway, yes, we need to be aware but I don't agree that "Our children were meant for their birth families, the way every child ever born is. Christy - May 14th, at 1: Thank you for this post, and for the one that is to come. Here's a small piece of our story of unethical adoption: Patty - May 14th, at 1: Thank you so much for giving a voice to this. It's something our family has been caught in the middle of for the past few years with our China adoptions.
It's been a nightmare. You wouldn't believe the stories I've heard, not to mention our own. Thank you thank you. It is a lonely place when you are fighting this fight and Christians are often the ones standing against it, but I will continue to fight for truth. This is a complicated issue with many layers but for every corrupt adoption taking place there is a true orphan who has lost their chance at a family.
Something has to change. Teresa - May 14th, at 2: The idea that God caused a teenager to become pregnant so I could be a mom or a Chinese woman to have to choose between two daughters and abandon one so I could be a mom to her child makes God out to be unbelievably cruel.
That is not the God I love and serve.
A Sudden Glory - When God Makes His Presence Known » Sharon Jaynes
What I do believe is that God has created a plan B for these children who are legitimately available for adoption. He only needs willing hearts. If the hearts are not willing, do not let guilt coerce you into adoption. In a perfect world, no child would be abandoned, orphaned, abused, or neglected. Sadly, we do not live in a perfect world.
My fear for a number of years is that by highlighting the orphan crisis, we create more "illegitimate orphans" due to the corruption you talk about here. The love of money corrupts and creates trafficking. In addition, it raises the stakes for the amount of money to "ransom" children out of orphanages and temporary care. I know a missionary in Cambodia that we support through our church.
He and his wife run several orphanages and those orphans are under the best care possible! They not only have terrific facilities, they are getting a tremendous education and have the finest computers in the area! Additionally, he has found a way to have the widows come and help in the orphanages and they help with the children. The local village children are amazed that these orphans have better access to a quality education than they do.
He is raising the next generation of children who will impact their own country. He has no intention of opening his orphanage up to the adoption community. I think he is on to something Keri - May 14th, at 4: Rachael - May 14th, at I am glad that these children in Cambodia, for whom adoption hasn't been an option for about a decade, are getting the best care possible. But I think we deceive ourselves when we begin to think that fancy computers and a great education can be a replacement for a family.
Even the best caretakers in the world are still just doing a job. They cannot provide the stability, sense of belonging, and emotional connection of loving parents and families. It has been proven over and over that even the best institutional care affects emotional development of children in profoundly negative ways. For orphaned children with NO other option, a good orphanage is better than nothing. But its not good enough.
EVERY child deserves a family, and if they cannot be with their biological family for some reason then they should have a second chance through adoption. June - May 15th, at 4: J - May 16th, at 2: So true--a permanent family is best, I agree The evidence and research is there.
Reform is needed so badly. Erin - May 17th, at Rosalyn - November 3rd, at I agree that every child deserves a family, but for these orphans in a very good orphanage and a possibly promising future in Cambodia, they may well have family there -cousins, siblings, grandparents, people they know who do not have the resources to take them in but are still "family.
They may well struggle academically as they switch to a different language at an older age. I say this as someone who adopted an 8 year old from Ukraine. We have found her family her parents are not alive but she has aunts and uncles and grandparents and we found two siblings both adopted to different countries. They had nothing in their orphanages -ours was in a special needs orphanage - but had our child been in a good living situation, well educated and able to stay with relatives on the weekend or have them visit, that may have been a good option.
I am only glad now that we have reunited her with her family members and that they can keep in touch over the internet so that she is not cut off from everything she knew. Suz - May 14th, at 2: As a US "birth"mother that surrendered her first born child after five months in a maternity home, one thousand miles from her family, I say bravo to many of the sentiments you share here. As that same mother that was told she and her family would be sued by the baby broker that stood to profit from the sale of her unborn child if she kept her child, I say bravo.
Adoption - both US domestic and international - is indeed a business and many are profiting from the "placement" of those poor "orphaned" children. They are taking advantage of vulnerable families - both birth and prospective adoptive. Thank you for shining the light right here at home, too. This is a tragedy and shouldn't have happened. Lea - May 14th, at 8: I'd really appreciate it if you would reply to Shasta's comment above, which is where my concern lies- children benefit from being loved and deserve a family and there are children whose legitimate adoptions are being threatened - where do those children fall in these "scales" that are being erected?!
Mary - May 14th, at 8: As another mother who lost a child here in the US, thank you Suz, and you Jen for shedding light on this. Adoption is big business and there are many of us who have suffered because of it. The unethical practices used in adoption must stop- it is heartbreaking for me to know that what happened to myself and my child need never have happened. Suz is absolutely correct our children pay the highest price of all. In my life and in my family it's the "gift that keeps on giving. PAP's, nautral mothers and their children are all hurt becauase of this.
We are adopting thru foster care. It is not much different. You don't have to go far to find children taken from their parents. It may be in a different way, but I can't help but think: What would happen if WE were more involved with our neighbors. Be a neighbor, get involved, be Jesus to someone struggling with parenting. The statistics are heartbreaking. These children deserve love and their basics needs met. And these birth parents deserve the education, if they are willing.
Anna - May 14th, at 2: A million times, yes. Thank you for this. As an adoptive mom I have been struggling with the trending topic of adoption corruption. It reminds me of my friend who is working with She is Safe to end human trafficking. The "popular" side for people to give money to is rescuing women and she's finding it hard to get funding for the side that is her heart - trafficking prevention. The worst thing we can do is start throwing our money at issues that pull our heart strings without examining the whole issue and making sure we are working for holistic healing.
I'm looking forward to your second post. Cindy - May 14th, at 2: I have soooooo much to say