No pleasure no memories worth holding. Wish I was there to just sit with you in the room and say and do nothing.
Ways to support someone who is in grief
But just to let you know that should you need or want anything food, a hug, conversation, a pillow to throw at me I am there for you. When my Dad died flowers and cards meant so much. It showed people cared. Prayers are so sweet too. I liked that and I do it every year now. And going on long walks and talking helps too. Well done and needed for so many. Just lost my husband of 46 years less then 3 months ago.
Many people at the service offered their help — anything I needed.
There were at least a dozen people who said they would be in touch soon and come to help. In 3 months 2 cousins have come to my home. One cousin took me out for a drive to a beautiful fall location, stopped for lunch and then browsed through a shop she knew I loved and it was the first time anyone had said, do you want to go out somewhere just to give you a change and some fresh air. She cleared everything with me first which is so important as what may seem like such a good idea to the person trying to help, it may be too much for the grieving person. The other cousin came and just sat and talked about so many things that Jim and myself did together.
How many friends he had and that everyone loved him. There were some tears but there was also some smiles. She stayed for the whole day and promised she would be back the following week and perhaps we could go out if I was up to it. I was able to get some sleep for the first time without crying myself to sleep.
Such a simple thing brought me such a time of comfort.
How to Help a Grieving Friend: 11 Things to Do When You're Not Sure What to Do
This article had so many things that I have thought before. Where did everywhere go? I did not realize how many people did back off either because they were uncomfortable or did not know when or what was appropriate. I think a small booklet giving the thoughts and ideas that was explained so well here, would be a wonderful addition in an appropriate place where the service is held.
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So many that could be thinking the same questions could find it so very helpful. My very best friend since we were in high school came to the funeral and then she just disappeared.
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- Ways to support someone who is in grief - Harvard Health.
That hurt me so much. I finally, thinking something must be wrong on her end, decided to phone her just to be certain all was ok and when I did it was so strange as she never even asked how I was doing nor gave me an explanation as to why I had not heard from her. We are close as sisters but it was so evident how uncomfortable my phone call had made her feel. This is such a very,very important list of ideas and feelings that it needs to be spread to as many as possible. I have many days that I cry all day long being alone most all the time. Part of me died with him and I am certain the hole in my heart can never be filled.
Understanding Grief
They were the most important part of our lives now and gifts from God. I was so grateful for all that was done to make the worst days of my life bearable and even my grandchildren took part. In closing though, Come the time that they each had to return to their lives,that the loneliness and the fact that he was gone forever hit me full force. This is the time I feel that the friends and family members are most needed. I still wake in the morning and for a brief moment think I hear his voice in the other room and the tears begin again.
Thank you for this! She was an angel.
Dear friends came over, ate with me, went to the store with me, laughed and cried with me. She brought her mail and listened to the radio and made her lunch so her friend was not alone. Attending a support group is, I believe, key to healing. You may believe you would do things differently if it had happened to you. We hope you do not get the chance to find out. This grief belongs to your friend: It's tempting to make statements about the past or the future when your friend's present life holds so much pain.
You cannot know what the future will be, for yourself or your friend -- it may or may not be better "later. Stay present with your friend, even when the present is full of pain. It's also tempting to make generalized statements about the situation in an attempt to soothe your friend. You cannot know that your friend's loved one "finished their work here," or that they are in a "better place.
How to Help Someone Who is Grieving
Stick with the truth: Your friend's loss cannot be fixed or repaired or solved. The pain itself cannot be made better. Do not say anything that tries to fix the unfixable, and you will do just fine. It is an unfathomable relief to have a friend who does not try to take the pain away. To do 4 while also practicing 3 is very, very hard.
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- Counseling.
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Being with someone in pain is not easy. You will have things come up -- stresses, questions, anger, fear, guilt. Your feelings will likely be hurt. You may feel ignored and unappreciated. Your friend cannot show up for their part of the relationship very well. Please don't take it personally, and please don't take it out on them.
Please find your own people to lean on at this time -- it's important that you be supported while you support your friend. When in doubt, refer to 1. Do not say "Call me if you need anything," because your friend will not call. Not because they do not need, but because identifying a need, figuring out who might fill that need, and then making a phone call to ask is light years beyond their energy levels, capacity or interest. Instead, make concrete offers: The actual, heavy, real work of grieving is not something you can do see 1 , but you can lessen the burden of "normal" life requirements for your friend.
Are there recurring tasks or chores that you might do? Things like walking the dog, refilling prescriptions, shoveling snow and bringing in the mail are all good choices. Support your friend in small, ordinary ways -- these things are tangible evidence of love. Please try not to do anything that is irreversible -- like doing laundry or cleaning up the house -- unless you check with your friend first.
That empty soda bottle beside the couch may look like trash, but may have been left there by their husband just the other day. The dirty laundry may be the last thing that smells like her. Do you see where I'm going here? Tiny little normal things become precious. Depending on the circumstance, there may be difficult tasks that need tending -- things like casket shopping, mortuary visits, the packing and sorting of rooms or houses.